Shoshy Raphael: I actually vote for your plan, since it means I get to shoot you.
Mike P: Just hurry up and do it!
[As Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew slowly walks towards the trio of champions, Shoshy Raphael shoots a steady stream of fire at Mike P while Owen Reilly shoots a beam of purple lamp energy. They continue and Mike P begins to glow a reddish purple. Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew comes closer and closer.]
Shoshy Raphael: Any time now!
Mike P: We only get one shot!
Shoshy Raphael: Then take it!
[Mike P sighs, and lets the energy loose upon Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew. It continues erupting from his body for several minutes, at the end of which Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew is lying on the ground. Mike P walks over to him and pokes him with his foot.]
Mike P: I think he’s still alive. I have this feeling that this isn’t over, though.
[The Embodiments watch in amazement as their final weapon fails.]
The Stupid: We need more power! More ghosts!
Deity Guy: None are within range! Hold on, I’m getting something on the radar… it looks like someone is looking out for us!
[Outside, the challengers are all making their way toward the stadiums. Danger Force is horsing around towards the back, while everyone else is traveling in formation. The Paci Custodis have taken the perimeter, weapons at the ready should anything go down. The superheroes and supervillains walk slightly inward, some of them flying above the mass of people, ready to defend themselves if needed.]
Leroy Cancer: [staccato voice] How are you feeling?
Leo Leopolous: [mechanical voice] Let’s kill agents.
Leroy Cancer: [staccato voice] Good to hear. Troopers, status report.
Gemini Twin Trooper #1: Nothing to report, sir.
Leroy Cancer: [staccato voice] Good. Good.
The Pharaoh Pisces McCool: This feels right. Like the days of old.
Doctor Aquarius: It is. It’s a shame the others couldn’t be here.
[Captain Rocket Fumblecorn hovers overhead.]
Captain Rocket Fumblecorn: They got their reasons, no mistake.
[Suddenly, Leo Leopolous stops and his voice-box starts to crackle. He growls.]
Leo Leopolous: [mechanical voice] Let’s kill agents! Let’s kill agents! I like the taste of honey!
Doctor Aquarius: What’s wrong?
[Suddenly, the ghost of the time-clone of the Mastakat appears. The man’s face is filled with horror, and suddenly he is sucked away.]
Gemini Twin Trooper #2: Son of a bitch!
[Leroy Cancer and Captain Rocket Fumblecorn, being time-clones, are sucked away as well.]
Doctor Aquarius: Red Scare! Are you seeing this?
Red Scare: I see it! Look! It’s happening all over!
Agent Man-In-Charge: I’m sure we’ll all sleep more safely in our beds knowing their evil — hold on, what’s going on?
Agent Big Fish: I… don’t feel thirsty.
Agent Pheromone: You always feel thirsty.
Agent Seven-In-One: This can’t be good.
[All four CAST agents are sucked away. Around them, more and more people begin to take notice.]
Jerald: What the blazes is happening here?
Purga the Demon-Thing: Those fools! If they’ve done what I think they’ve done…
[Cowboy Santa and Elfie are riding alongside Jimmy Swift. Snippley Marrowind trails behind, twirling his mustache and fingering a spherical bomb within his coat.]
Jimmy Swift: You had one final lesson to teach me, Cowboy Santa. What was it?
Cowboy Santa: You were on the naughty list when we first met, but over these past few months, I’ve checked my list twice and now, you’re almost on the nice list. The final lesson — uh oh!
[Cowboy Santa puts his finger against his nose as he and Elfie are sucked away. Snippley Marrowind, too, is sucked away, as well as the time-clone of Horatio Chan.]
Jimmy Swift: Cowboy Santa?! NO!
[ Murgatroyd is walking alongside Honky Kong and Fahktard Kahnt, continually punching the pained primate. Shizamablam! walks a little ways behind, wary of his enemies. Shizamablock walks alongside him. Suddenly, Honky Kong, Fahktard Kahnt, and Shizamablam! start to be sucked away.]
Honky Kong: Aw jeez! It feels like my skin’s being torn off! So nice!
Shizamablock Nah, dawg! Naw! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA —
[Shizamablock notices that Shizamablam! is well and truly gone now.]
Shizamablock: Ah. Thank god he’s gone. I be black, but I ain’t nearly black as him.
[Tim Aneric, a comedian who wears a sheet over himself, steps up to Shizamablock.]
Tim Aneric: You know what else is black?
Shizamablock: I ain’t got time for you.
Tim Aneric: A crayon! Oh!
[Suddenly, Tim Aneric is sucked away. This time, we follow his path as he is pulled from the crowd and winds up clogging the machine some distance away, which had mistaken him for being a real ghost.]
Deity Guy: Is that enough power?
The Stupid: Yes! Open the pathways! It’s time to super-charge Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew!
[In the Megadome, the trio are walking out of the stadium when they hear a low rumbling behind them. Suddenly, the Contrivance Hawk explodes, throwing them to the ground. As they roll onto their backs, they see a monstrous figure rise from the burning wreckage: Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew’s second, more monstrous, form. He lets out a roar, ending with a faint “flargy dargy margy”.]
Mike P: They really want to kill us, don’t they?
Shoshy Raphael: Oh yes. They want to kill us in the worst way.
Owen Reilly: I really don’t want to die.
[Outside, the crowds see the destruction of the Megadome and stop for a moment.]
Graves: I vote we don’t keep going.
Logan Keanu Solo: We have to keep going. They might need our help.
Graves: Look, we can come back and bury the bodies when that thing is gone, right?
Thomas Iavi: After it’s done with them, it’s bound to come after us.
Graves: So it’s that thing or me? Hope it’s not bullet-proof.
[Back inside, the trio of champions watch as the monstrous Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew walks towards them, roaring with each step.]
Shoshy Raphael: Hold on, it looks like it’s still getting used to its new proportions.
Mike P: If we hit it quick, we might not die!
Owen Reilly: I like that plan.
Mike P: Yes! Plans of attack, quick!
Owen Reilly: I could use my Purple Lamp to throw a bunch of stuff at him.
Shoshy Raphael: Good, good! I could create an explosion under him using my ring. It would knock him off-balance.
Mike P: Super! I could use my hat to shoot at what’s left of the roof, make it fall down on him.
[Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew roars.]
Shoshy Raphael: Whatever we decide, it better be quick!
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