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Posts Tagged ‘Charleston Charge’

The Apocalyptic Council: Suddenly, an End!

Posted by meekrat on September 30, 2010

The head of the Apocalyptic Council sat at his desk in the darkness. He couldn’t remember being a young man. He couldn’t remember being an old man, either. He could only remember the days when he had been less ancient, but he truly wanted to remember his younger days so he could undo the curse of immortality that had been placed upon him. This was the reason he had founded the Council, after all. Surely the end of the world would end him as well. It was all he dreamed about, all he wanted: the sweet embrace of death. He could not even remember the name he had been given at birth, and simply called himself Checker. He couldn’t remember why.

The door opened, letting in a sliver of light and a young man with claws.

Checker squinted, his ancient eyes rapidly adjusting to the light. “Ah, Joshua.”

Joshua leaned against the wall and took a steel file out of his pocket and began to sharpen his claws, “How are you doing today?”

“Absolutely wretchedly,” Checker hobbled over to a file cabinet and began paging through its files, “Any luck?”

“None whatsoever,” said Joshua, “We’ve sent out many agents to try and find out who you are and why you’re still alive. No luck yet. Also, we’ve had an infiltration.”

Checker slammed the file cabinet shut and hobbled back over to his desk, “Has it been taken care of?”

“Kind of,” said Joshua.

Checker cursed under his breath, “Kind of. How do you kind of take care of an infiltration? Did someone escape?”

“Nothing like that. We seem to have attracted some very interesting individuals.”

“How interesting?”

“Charleston Charge, for one.”

Checker hobbled back over to the file cabinet and began paging through the files contained within. The cabinet was a surrogate memory, though some things had been forgotten entirely. Joshua sat and waited patiently for Checker to pull out a file, read it, place it back into the cabinet, and hobble back to his desk.

Checker grinned, though his teeth had long ago been replaced with dentures, “Charleston Charge, eh? Good thing you’ve captured that one. According to my memory, he’s quite important. Could have put this entire operation in jeopardy.”

“That’s not all. We also captured a young man named Edwin Cloudstar. No, don’t bother going to your cabinet. He’s not in your memory,” said Joshua.

“He sounds familiar, though,” said Checker, “So familiar. Cloudstar. Hm. If he’s not in the cabinet then he can’t be important. Good work, all the same.”

“We also captured the Impossible Mister Frink and Vincenzo Fitzpatrick,” said Joshua.

Checker’s eyes lit up, “I remember those lads! Dashing young men. I remember seeing them so many years ago. Weren’t there more?”

“Yes. They weren’t here, but I think we should take the precaution of contracting some outside help with this. I’ve got contacts out there, and there’s probably more than a few people who would like a piece of the Basset Hound Brigade,” said Joshua.

Checker nodded, “No. The Basset Hound Brigade and Charleston Charge? We’ve got to move our operation.”

Joshua balked, “Do we have time?”

Checker chuckled, “You know damn well that you and I have all the time in the world.”

“I know that, but really, sir. We’re on a time-table.”

“We’ve got time. It’s better to just move than to have our whole operation dismantled by the likes of them. Get on it, please. Release the prisoners, first. Give them a fight, but let them go. We mustn’t let on that they haven’t won, nor can we kill them. It’ll bring the rest of them down upon us” said Checker, leaning back in his chair.

“Of course,” Joshua left the room, grinning. He was itching for a fight.

***

Charleston Charge paced the cell while Mister Frink sat in the corner and thought. Vinny Fitzpatrick gazed longingly out the window while Edwin Cloudstar remained up against the wall, being unable to move.

“Back in the day, we could count on the Little Spick to get us out of jams like this,” said Vinny with a sigh, “Back in the day. I wonder what he’s up to?”

“He’s dead,” said Mister Frink, “I think Orphan Freelance is still operational.”

“That’s sort of racist, isn’t it?” asked Charleston, who had stopped in his tracks upon hearing “the Little Spick”.

“It was a different time. Now, are we going to go through with this plan?” asked Mister Frink.

“It don’t feel right, Mister Frink, killin’ some lad,” said Vinny, “Even if he says he’ll just pop back.”

“It’s the only way,” said Edwin.

Vinny slumped to the ground, “Can’t we just wait for something to happen to you?”

“It’s impossible for anything to kill Edwin while we’re sitting in this cell,” growled Mister Frink.

Just then, a meteorite came flying through the window, hitting Edwin square between the eyes. It plowed through his brain and burrowed itself deeply into the wall. Vinny stared.

“We must act!” screamed Mister Frink, throwing himself against the door. It budged slightly, and Charleston aided him in the next impact. The door broke off of its hinges.

“Grab Edwin!” said Mister Frink, striding down the hallway. There were no guards. This bothered him.

Charleston threw Edwin’s body over his shoulder and Vinny followed. The quartet walked down the hallway to the next door, easily opening it.

“This can’t be right,” said Mister Frink, “There’s nothing in here but the sword.”

***

In the realm between life and death, Edwin watched as his companions carried his body down the hallway. There was a tap on his shoulder and he turned to see a tan red-headed woman wearing a purple blazer and skirt, holding a clipboard.

“Nice to see you again,” she said.

“Nice to see you, too, Camilla. I’m pretty sure I haven’t fulfilled the prophecies,” said Edwin.

Camilla looked at her clipboard, “No. Of course you haven’t. So what mess have you gotten into this time?”

Edwin pointed to Charleston, “I’m helping that guy with the hat stop a group dedicated to the Apocalypse. They had to kill me so that they could reunite me with my sword.”

“Fun,” Camilla wrote something on her clipboard and it vanished, “How’d you get separated from it in the first place? You haven’t died for a while.”

“What?” Edwin’s brow furrowed, “Then how did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” said Camilla, “Well, looks like it’s time for you to get back to living. Be careful. Not that I don’t like seeing you, of course.”

“Of course,” Edwin vanished from the realm.

***

Fifteen minutes later, the quartet was wandering through the mysteriously empty halls.

“This isn’t right,” said Mister Frink.

“You’re telling me,” said Charleston Charge, sidling along the wall.

“I feel a disturbance,” said Edwin, stopping dead in his tracks, his hand instinctively going to the hilt of his sword, “Not really. It’s more of just bad mojo.”

Joshua stepped around the corner, his claws shining, “Hello. You can’t leave here alive.”

Edwin stopped and stared at Joshua, his hand resting on the sword’s hilt, and suddenly things made sense.

“Maddon! He’s you!” shouted Vinny.

“I’d love to know your history sometime,” said Joshua Cloudstar, “Not right now. Right now, we’re going to test your immortality.”

Edwin Cloudstar drew his sword, “Same to you.”

“So witty,” Joshua ran forward, claw raised. He brought it down, meeting Edwin’s sword and giving off sparks.

“Run,” said Edwin, attempting to force Joshua forward. Despite being dimensional twins, Joshua was stronger, and so this attempt met with failure.

As the pair continued to battle, Mister Frink and the others were running through the compound. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and they fell to the ground.

***

Vinny Fitzpatrick awoke to find himself on Mister Frink’s couch. Charleston Charge was eating a plate of waffles on a cot next to him, while Mister Frink was already up and about. Edwin Cloudstar was nowhere to be seen, but Mister Frink’s son was there.

“Are you sure you don’t want the Neo-Bassets to track these people down?” he said, not wearing his uniform.

“You know them?” said Charleston, in between mouthfuls.

Brian Frink stopped, and then nodded slowly, “Yes. I’m their pal.”

“What happened?” said Vinny.

“Ah, good. You’re awake,” said Mister Frink, “It’s been nearly a week. To be perfectly honest, I’m not entirely sure what happened. All I know is that that compound has vanished into nothingness.”

“So we won?” said Vinny.

“I can only assume so,” said Mister Frink, pouring some tea.

“For the first time in years, I have nothing to do,” said Charleston, “It feels weird. I tell you what, though. I’m tendering my resignation with Brachiosaur. I’m going to do things my own way from now on. Maybe start a detective agency.”

“Bully for you,” said Mister Frink.

Vinny walked over to the table and took a cup of tea, “What happened to Edwin?”

“I don’t know,” said Mister Frink.

“The Neo-Bassets could find out,” said Brian.

“No. I don’t think we could find these people again unless they wanted to be found,” said Mister Frink.

***

Edwin Cloudstar floated in the void between universes once again, shunted once the Apocalyptic Council’s compound transported itself to its new location. Joshua was nowhere to be seen, and Edwin couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to his dimensional twin that made him think the Apocalypse was a good idea. Oh well. Soon, Edwin would either find his way back to a universe at some point soon.

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The Apocalyptic Council: Mister Frink’s Holiday

Posted by meekrat on September 27, 2010

Note: This is the finale of Choose Your Own Blogventure.
Note #2: This takes place before March Meekrat Madness 2010.

Charleston Charge awoke to find himself in a closet, and remembered what he was doing there. There was a conspiracy to bring about the Apocalypse, or at least to keep it on track, and Charleston had somehow become responsible for making sure that the world didn’t end. He opened the door to see a tribe of Mayans standing in the hallway, some walking and chatting with each other, some drinking coffee. They all turned to him and Charleston slammed the closet door behind him and hoped and prayed that his ally, Edwin Cloudstar, was able to find him.

***

Deep within the bowels of the Apocalyptic Council’s headquarters, Edwin Cloudstar sat in a dank dungeon. It wasn’t the worst dungeon he had ever been in, to be certain, but it was still quite annoying because they somehow knew how to circumvent the mystical connection he had with his sword. Again, not the first time, but no less annoying than all the other times. He sat and hoped that his ally, Charleston Charge, would be able to find him.

***

The Impossible Mister Frink sat in his breakfast nook, sipping some tea and reading his paper, basically enjoying his morning. His adopted son, Brian, was off on some adventure with some costumed heroes, so it was a fairly quiet day. Most days had been quiet since the unofficial disbanding of the Basset Hound Brigade, in fact. Not too quiet, of course. A man like Mister Frink knew how to create his own excitement, after all, but it was still nice to have a quiet day every now and again.

There was a knock at the door, the sort of knock that insinuated that if you didn’t open the door, then it would be opened by force. Were Brian there, Mister Frink likely would have continued sitting there enjoying the comic strips. Since he wasn’t, he cracked his knuckles and walked over to the door.

Vinny Fitzpatrick was standing on the other side, holding his aviator cap and goggles in front of him.

Mister Frink sighed and opened the door, “Good morning, Vincenzo. What brings you here?”

“I know we only get the ol’ team back together for big things, Mister Frink, but I got word that there’s the mother of all trouble brewin’ down south,” said Vinny.

“Very well,” said Mister Frink, “I suppose we’re expected to just go down there and solve things?”

“I was hoping,” Vinny smiled, “Only I wasn’t able to get anyone else.”

Mister Frink’s eyebrow raised, “What’s Douglas and Jenkins doing that are so important?”

“They’re on a case,” said Vinny, “And Mister Lucky’s nowhere to be found.”

“He’s busy with that blasted literature club,” replied Mister Frink, grabbing his overcoat, “Details, Vincenzo! Details!”

They walked to Mister Frink’s private airstrip, and along the way Vinny explained how he had found himself in contact with the new iteration of the spy organization, CAST, most notably a young woman who called herself E. A young man she knew had traveled south months ago and no one had heard from him since, and she was unable to travel there herself. Since she knew Vinny’s history with the Basset Hound Brigade, she hoped that he would at least check into it, which eventually led him to this point.

Mister Frink nodded, “Do we know where this complex is?”

“She says she don’t know,” said Vinny, “Could we take your plane? Only I had a bit o’ trouble wit’ mine.”

Vinny’s plane had been crashed, like the vast majority of his planes, into a small grove of trees several hundred yards from the airfield. He had never been able to land, except in the direst of circumstances. Mister Frink just tossed him the keys to the plane and hoped for the best.

***

Several hours later, the pair flew over some farmland.

“Have you been here before?” asked Mister Frink, pointing to a crashed bi-plane.

“Never,” said Vinny, “I think we’re on the right track. Look!”

A giant monster loomed in front of them, lumbering down the road, its massive black wings flapping slowly. As far as such things went, it wasn’t that terrifying, having the normal amount of arms and legs. Of course, all these arms and legs were tentacles, and its head looked like an octopus. It looked up and its giant coal-black eyes narrowed.

“It’s seen us, Mister Frink!” shouted Vinny, who threw the plane into a dive.

“Pull up, lad! Pull up!” screamed Mister Frink.

It was too late. The tentacle monster reached out and plucked the plane from the air. Instead of crushing it, he placed it gently on the ground, and then shrank, pulling his wings inwards. They formed a cloak around his body. He slithered over to the plane and knocked on the window.

“Are you two all right?” slobbered the demon.

Mister Frink and Vinny stared out the window, a look of shock upon Mister Frink’s face. Vinny, however, was either too afraid or too dumb to realize that he should be afraid, and gave the monster a thumbs-up. He hopped out of the plane.

“I’m so sorry about that,” said the tentacle monster, grasping Vinny’s hand, “I was in deep thought. I didn’t mean to make you crash.”

“No harm done,” said Vinny, gently pulling his hand away, “Say, you couldn’t tell us where some base for a bunch o’ Apocalypse nut-jobs is, could you?”

Mister Frink groaned.

“You’re the second two guys I’ve met today who are on their way there,” said the tentacle monster, “I’m S’treafael, but please, call me Steve. It’s right up the road. I’d love to help you storm the place, but I’m probably already in deep with my uncle.”

“No worries,” Vinny smiled. He saluted Steve and hopped back into the plane, “He said — ”

“I know what he said,” said Mister Frink, “Take us there, and for the love of God, keep us alive until we get there.”

***

Charleston Charge sat in the closet. He had built a small-scale model of his homeland, the Lost City of Uhld, out of various janitorial supplies. He pulled a voice recorder out of his pocket. He clicked the record button, “While trying to figure out what to do, I’ve built my home town. I would build a scale model of this place, but I’m not entirely sure what this place looks like.” He clicked it off and put the recorder back in his coat.

“At least they’re not trying to kill me,” said Charleston, idly knocking over bits of his model with flicks of his fingers, “They could totally get in here if they wanted to. Kill me right off.”

He leaned on his side and thought about taking a nap when he heard a noise. By the time he realized what it was, a small plane had crashed into the wall. Charleston barged through the door, knocking it from his hinges, and continued running down the hallway, holding onto his fedora-like hat. Behind him, the plane continued to come, by this time its wings had snapped off and it was just the cockpit and fuselage sliding down the hallway, knocking over Mayans left and right. It began to slow, and Charleston braced himself for its impact, hoping his low-level super-strength would be enough to stop it entirely.

The plane slid into his ready hands and his feet began to skid down the hallway, but Charleston could tell that the plane was slowing down. Behind him, a wall continued coming towards him, and he hoped he would stop before he became a pancake.

He grinned and laughed, “After all, I prefer waffles.”

Soon, the plane stopped, several feet away from the wall. Charleston stepped back and sat heavily on the ground, trying to catch his breath. The plane’s doors opened and two men he recognized as the Impossible Mister Frink and Vinny Fitzpatrick hopped out.

Vinny looked at him, “You Charleston Charge?”

“I am,” said Charleston.

“We’re here to rescue you, though it may not look like it,” said the Impossible Mister Frink, “Now then, shall we get going?”

“Not yet,” said Charleston, “My friend is somewhere in this complex. Also, these people are trying to bring about the Apocalypse. Or make sure it happens. I’m not really sure. We have to stop it.”

“You were trying to stop it by yourself?” said Mister Frink, obviously impressed.

“No,” said Charleston, “I had a friend with me. Is Mister Lucky with you guys?”

“He was busy with other matters,” said Mister Frink, “Though I’m sure if he thought he was required to stop these people, then he’d be here by now.”

Vinny nodded, “Do you know where this friend of yours is?”

“No,” said Charleston again, “We got separated when we came in.”

“Damn and blast,” growled Mister Frink, “It’ll be impossible to find him!”

Just then, all the Mayans that had fled when the plane began to crash through the hallway returned. They took their spears and pointed them at the two Bassets and Charleston Charge. It didn’t take a genius to know what they wanted.

***

“I’m so glad you found me,” said Edwin, “I really mean that. Even if this really stinks as a rescue attempt.”

Charleston Charge was shackled to the wall next to him, with shackles strong enough to withstand his super-strength, “It’s not like we planned this.”

“I know. At least we’re all together now,” said Edwin, “Who are those guys?”

Vinny smiled, lying on his side. Both his hands and ankles had been tied. Mister Frink has shackled to the wall on the opposite side of Edwin and Charleston.

“Those are Vinny Fitzpatrick and Mister Frink. Two members of the Basset Hound Brigade,” said Charleston, “They’re adventurers. Bassets, this is Edwin Cloudstar.”

“Are they? Good,” said Edwin, “I’ve seen stranger.”

“Your hands aren’t bound,” said Mister Frink.

“They don’t need to. My sword’s on the other side of this wall, and the only way it leaves my back is if I grab hold of its hilt,” said Edwin, “It’s a mystical thing.”

“Vincenzo is, for some reason, not secured in any way,” said Mister Frink, “I can’t imagine why our captors would do this, but we can work this to our benefit. Vincenzo, please see if you can make your way over to Edwin. Good, good. Now, Edwin, can you untie Vinny’s hands? Good. I would hate to have to stand alone against these ruffians.” Mister Frink took a deep breath and then tore his shackles from the wall, freeing himself.

Charleston’s eyes went wide, “You’re super-strong?”

“Indeed I am, though I do prefer to use my wits instead of my fists. Needs must, however,” said Mister Frink. He grabbed hold of Charleston’s shackles, “On the count of three, boy! One. Two. Three!”

The shackles resisted at first, remaining secure against the wall, but eventually gave when Vinny lent his own strength to the effort.

“Now what?” said Edwin, still unable to free himself, “How am I going to get free?”

“What would Mister Lucky do?” asked Vinny.

Mister Frink chose to ignore that comment, knowing full well that there was no way he could match Mister Lucky’s intelligence. He was still quite formidable in that department, able to craft machines that pushed against the laws of the universe. Mysticism was not one of his strong suits, however, and so the mechanisms of the sword’s bond with Edwin were a puzzle he could not solve. Something else puzzled him, though.

“How did you get into this position in the first place?” asked Mister Frink.

“They killed me and tossed my body in here, and my sword in the other room,” said Edwin, “When I came to, I was stuck against this wall.”

“Hold on, killed you?” said Vinny, stepping back, “You a vampire?”

“No, I just can’t stay dead,” said Edwin, “I’m still not entirely sure how they did this. Usually, the only one able to lift my sword is me.”

Charleston turned to Mister Frink, “Couldn’t you just impossible us out of this situation?”

“It’s passive,” said Mister Frink, “So if you’re killed, the sword can leave your body, but the only one who can lift your sword is you?”

“That’s what I said. I guess they could have moved my body,” said Edwin.

“You’re not from this place, are ya?” asked Vinny, “You got the air of a traveler about ya.”

“No, I’m from a different universe,” said Edwin.

Vinny nodded, “You don’t stay in this business this long without picking up a few things.”

“We could smash through the prison door and the door to wherever they put Edwin’s sword, and then kill Edwin and carry his body to his sword,” said Charleston Charge, “Not the perfect plan, I grant you, but it’s the only one I’ve got.”

“Could work,” said Edwin.

***

Elsewhere in the compound, the second-in-command of the Apocalyptic Council sat and watched their captives on a closed-circuit television. He was sure they didn’t know they were being watched, and was quite pleased that none of them had realized what had gone on. He smiled. It was only a matter of time now.

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MMM 2010: Finale #4

Posted by meekrat on July 29, 2010



Mike P: I’m pretty sure people might enjoy my thing.
Xig: What’s your thing?
[Mike P takes a deep breath and flies above the legion of challengers on his disc.]
Mike P: If you’ve got an energy weapon, shoot me with it!
[All the challengers with energy weapons begins shooting Mike P with them, some with much more enjoyment than others. Those without energy weapons attack Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew until Mike P begins glowing like a collapsing star. He turns towards Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew, flies towards him, and begins unleashing the energy, forcing himself to keep flying as he does so lest the energy blast push him back. As the last of the excess energy leaves his body, Mike P allows himself to be pushed back. The energy blast seems to do the trick, and Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew screams in pain. At the lair of the Embodiments…]
The Stupid: More power! MORE POWER!
Deity Guy: We’re giving her all we’ve got!
The Stupid: You obviously aren’t! The meters are still… oh, wait. They stopped. We’re all now completely powerless!
Lamp Prime: Wait, wait. Really?
The Stupid: Yes! Though we can get our power back at any time by flicking this switch.
Deity Guy: There’s no switch there. In fact, the whole console has been replaced by a featureless purple cube-like shape.
The Stupid: That’s nonsense!
Lamp Prime: He’s right. Turn around.
[The Stupid turns around, and sees that the ghost machine has been replaced by a giant featureless purple cube-like shape.]
The Stupid: This… this wasn’t supposed to happen. Now, once Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew has destroyed our enemies, he’ll be able to destroy us as well! He’s basically become a malevolent deity! This is all my fault!
Deity Guy: Don’t be so hard on yourself. You had no idea this would happen.
The Stupid: Well, you see, shortly after Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew arrived, I sent someone into his head to stomp around and make him go insane. Apparently, this has also made him much more proactive in his defense.
[Deity Guy and Lamp Prime stare at the Stupid, who grins sheepishly.]
Deity Guy: Dude. What the hell?
[At the stadiums, Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew transforms once again. This time, he becomes a giant blob-like creature with a tiny leprechaun hat perched upon it, with various pieces of robot, monkey, bear, leprechaun, and human shifting in and out of its mass. It also begins flinging things at the various challengers, and shooting bolts of various energies. While its accuracy leaves much to be desired, the sheer mass of attacks is proving to be fatal to many challengers. In a misguided attempt to lighten the mood, Charlie Charleston dances to the head of the crowd.]

Charlie Charleston: Charleston, Charleston, dah dah dadadah Charlie Charleston, I’m better than you!
[The the Charleston Hate Imp arrives nearly instantly, and due to his proximity to Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew, is beefed up by the excess power. Instead of the small yet dangerous being he once was, he, too, becomes a hulking monstrosity. The crowd lets loose a collective groan, but then the the Charleston Hate Imp touches Charlie Charleston. Charlie Charleston is immediately set on fire, and begins to expand. The man’s eyes pop first, spraying goo all over the place. Next, the buttons on his suit begin popping off, their ricochets dooming several more challengers, until finally, Charlie Charleston’s flesh has been stretched as far as it will go and the man explodes, his flaming body parts landing all over the place. The Camel leaps into the air to grab an errant foot, and greedily begins shlurping the rest of what was once Charlie Charleston. Once he’s completed this, he notices how many more corpses there are, and sighs contentendly. The Thrifty Scouts fly out over the crowd to confront Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew. Mike P is none too pleased, especially since Elvin Clovar has convinced Perverto to hold aloft a boombox to blare the Thrifty Scouts Theme Song.]
Mike P: We saw you die! The Kzagnox totally killed you!
Thrifty Scout Asgard: Kawaii! It’s a good thing he didn’t get our special Thrifty Star Seeds! Now then, you big old monster, we will punish you!
[As the Thrifty Scouts are preparing to attack, Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew focuses upon them, and with one blast, they’re disentegrated. Ethan Crane and Lord Tentacula join elbows and begin to dance with joy. Scoop Griswald runs around snapping photographs while Jonathan Hortenz, hit by one of Charlie Charleston’s shoes, has begun to drone on as if he was doing a DVD commentary of the battle. Steve the Chach is attempting to light Molotov cocktails using his bottles of Jaeger, a feat which proves impossible considering how he refuses to waste the Jaeger and empties each bottle beforehand. Danger Force sits around and laughs at everyone else as they run around, trying to dodge Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew’s attacks. The three champions continue to attack.]
Shoshy Raphael: I’d say this is hopeless!
Mike P: Not if we get a deus ex machina up in here!
[As if on cue, a light comes from the western sky, framing a figure on a mighty steed.]
Shoshy Raphael: Good god, is that — ?
Owen Reilly: It is! It is! Brachiosaur the White!
[Sure enough, Brachiosaur is riding into battle upon Wyandotte Thompson, much to Wyandotte’s chagrin. He is brandishing a relatively small sword which still dwarfs a man. Alongside him ride El Presidente on an especially large dog, Leo Leopolous astride his riding lion, Sexy Jiro on top of his gimp, the Cart King atop one of his carts, Jerald on his flying disc, Mister Frink on his gyrocopter, Cart King and Mad Monkey Jesus aboard the flying cross, and the Unibear on his unicycle.]
Brachiosaur: BRACHI! BRACH BRACH BRACHIOSAUR BRACHI BRACH BRACHIOSAUR!
Unibear: Graaahnk!
[However, one by one the riders are cut down by errant blasts from Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew until only Unibear remains. He rolls up to Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew and looks up at the monstrous blob, half-heartedly scratching it.]
Unibear: Grahn.
[Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew pulsates, the movement being enough to crush the Unibear.]
Iavi: Well, boys, this isn’t how I thought I’d die, but it’s been nice knowing you, I guess.
Charleston Charge: We still have a chance, if only Edolie DePrit would show up. She usually shows up, then I save the day.
Mike P: We don’t have time to wait!
Charleston Charge: Sure we —
[Charleston Charge is suddenly hit with a beam of energy, falling to the ground.]
Shoshy Raphael: You did tell him we didn’t have time to wait.
[Off to the side, the Embodiment of Chaos steps out from between moments. He looks around.]
Embodiment of Chaos: Damn. Looks like I don’t even have to be here.
[He steps back. Other than the three champions, only a handful of challengers remain. This includes Edwin Cloudstar, Baco, Antwon, Iavi, Xig, Fadeaway, the Animajor, Xavier Malcolm, Logan Keanu Solo, Gerald, Jihad Man, Purga the Demon-Thing, the Bear Machine, and Bukake.]
Iavi: I think we should find cover, maybe think up a plan.
Edwin Cloudstar: Oh, forget plans. Get me one of those Purple Lamp bombs.
Mike P: What are you going to do?
Edwin Cloudstar: I’m going to jump into that thing and blow it up from the inside.
Shoshy Raphael: A good plan. I expect nothing less from my old foe.
Edwin Cloudstar: Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you tried to do.
Shoshy Raphael: I don’t.
[A bomb is made and given to Edwin Cloudstar.]
Edwin Cloudstar: I need one of you to get me up to the top so I can sink through.
Iavi: No. It’s a suicide mission.
Mike P: We’ll be fine, I’m sure. Besides, whoever does it can get really close to attack.
Shoshy Raphael: I suppose it’ll work.

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MMM 2010: Finale #3

Posted by meekrat on July 28, 2010


Owen Reilly: Save us, Mike P!
Mike P: Okay!
[Mike P hops on his flying disc and narrowly dodges the beast, shooting a steady barrage of energy blasts at the ceiling. Soon, pieces of it start falling randomly, many pieces falling upon the beast, the others hitting the floor, or bouncing harmlessly off Owen Reilly’s force-bubble. Suddenly, a chunk disengages itself from the rest of it and falls directly on top of Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew, pinning him to the ground. Mike P lands his flying disc by the other two champions.]
Mike P: I don’t think it’s over.
[At the lair of the Embodiments…]
The Stupid: Damn!
Deity Guy: What now? I think it’s about time we call it quits. I mean, it was fun while it lasted, but maybe now it’s best to get back to the daily grind.
Lamp Prime: Yes, I think that’s a fine idea.
The Stupid: No! The pathways of power have been opened! We shall channel our own power into Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew so that he will continue changing and become more and more powerful!
Deity Guy: More powerful and murderous. I thought he was supposed to challenge them, not kill them. I really don’t want anymore people to die.
The Stupid: The murderousness is for a completely different reason! Besides, these people abandoned us!
Lamp Prime: We were acting like jerks.
The Stupid: No reason for them to act like jerks to us! Besides, we can recall the power whenever we like!
Deity Guy: In that case, I guess I’ll go for it.
Lamp Prime: You can’t be serious.
Deity Guy: The man knows how to sell.
Lamp Prime: Fine. I’ll give my power, too.
The Stupid: Excellent! Let the transfer commence!
[Outside the stadiums, the trio of champions runs out to meet the other challengers.]
Charleston Charge: Hey! What was going on in there?
Mike P: You don’t want to know. We all need to get as far away from here as we can.
Mister Frink: You three appear to have things well in hand.
Shoshy Raphael: Listen to the green creature! We must away!
Owen Reilly: Yeah. It’s really bad, you guys.
Thomas Iavi: How bad can it be?
The Wiper: It’s Meekrat, isn’t it? You guys all brought us here for Meekrat!
[The Meerkat chooses this inopportune time to walk in, holding a glass of iced tea and sipping from it.]
Tom Phillipson: That’s right!
Bootman: Let’s give ’em the boot!
Robbin Hood: Shit, man! Let’s give ’em the whole damn foot!
The Wiper: That doesn’t make any sense, but okay!
Meerkat: Wait, what’s going on?
Tom Phillipson: The Meerkat/Meekrat connection!
[Many villains run after the Meerkat, who attempts to burrow underground. One of the villains grabs his foot, and they begin beating him mercilessly. Soon, they walk away, grim smiles on their faces, a beaten Meerkat left in their wake. Elvin Clovar looks upon him.]
Elvin Clovar: I’m just glad I’m not the one to get beaten to death this time.
The Wiper: Problem solved!
[Behind them, a colossal, even more monstrous version of Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew stands up, larger than the former Megadome and the other two stadiums. He roars and all faces turn to it.]
Jerald: Oh my.
Iavi: You three champion people. We’re here to help in whatever way we can.
Shoshy Raphael: Ah, good, then at least we’ll all die around the same time.
Iavi: Buck up. We all know a thing or two about fighting, I’d think. Just give the word.
Owen Reilly: Which word?
[Iavi takes a deep breath and points at Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew.]
Iavi: ATTACK!
[The champions lead the charge, but are more than halfway towards their enemy when they turn and see less than half of the challengers following them. The rest have either decided not to do anything or attack each other, despite the clear and present danger. Iavi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.]
Iavi: God damn it. You three go do whatever, I’ll get these guys on the same page.
Mike P: If you don’t hurry, that page will be the obituaries.
Iavi: Just go attack the monster, okay?
[Iavi darts into the melee and gets hit with a wave of deja vu, especially since he is doing so in an attempt to retrieve Kareem and Toddo once again. He quickly retrieves them, and takes them to the middle of the melee where, for some odd reason, there’s a perfect circle of peace. Iavi places the two children and they attempt to stop the battle through monologues. However, without any voice amplification equipment, their efforts are for naught. All seems lost when singing is heard. As the singing comes closer, the singer can be seen: a robot which looks like an ass with two legs, marching along with a very ragged and weary marching band behind him.]
Ass-Bot: Bum bum bum bedumbum — Bum! Bum, bum bedumdum, bum bum bumbum bum. Bum! Bum, bum bedumbum, bum bum dumdebum, bum dedumbum bum!
[As Ass-Bot marches through the melee, all participants stop and stare. Iavi, sensing an oppurtunity, signals Kareem and Toddo. Both gape, and fail to say anything, when Kareem manages to get some words out.]
Kareem: Good golly, but what the heck are all you guys doing?
Toddo: Seriously! There’s a giant monster over there who wants to kill us all!
[All the combatants talk amongst themselves as Ass-Bot and his marching band march away, with the marching band complaining in shifts the whole way. Eventually, an agreement is made and everyone begins running towards Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew. Elsewhile, the three champions look up at the towering monstrosity.]
Mike P: We really shouldn’t. I think this calls for a redux of our first successful attack.
Iavi: Which was?
Mike P: Either everyone with an energy attack bombards me so I can unleash a mega-attack, we fill up a Purple Lamp bomb with the energy, or we all distract Baggy Jesus while Shoshy leads an attack on his rear.
[Iavi runs up, with the Red Scare, Solana, and Xig. The legion of challengers stops behind them, many looking up at Baggy Jesus O’Malley the Jew and seriously reconsidering their life choices.]
Iavi: We’ll help in whatever way we can.

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MMM Event #92: Resolution

Posted by meekrat on July 26, 2010

[Charleston Charge and Owen Reilly sit on the ground with a make-shift checkers set in front of them.]
Charleston Charge: Why couldn’t you just materialize a set with your lamp? Maybe some chairs and a table, too.
Owen Reilly: I have to concentrate to make things with my lamp.
Charleston Charge: You couldn’t concentrate enough to make all those things and play checkers?
[Owen Reilly, however, was not listening, instead concentrating on his opening move. After two minutes, he looks up.]
Owen Reilly: What?
Charleston Charge: Never mind.
[Owen Reilly turns his attention back to the checkerboard, and after three minutes, moves one of his pieces forward, then moves it back and shakes his head. Charleston Charge leans back to get more comfortable. One minute later, Owen Reilly moves the same checker, this time leaving the piece. He crosses his arms and smiles.]
Owen Reilly: Your turn!
[Charleston Charge looks at the checkerboard for ten seconds and moves a piece.]
Charleston Charge: Your turn.
[The process begins again, with Owen Reilly thinking deeply about his next move. The minutes click by slowly, with many false moves, until he finally moves one of his checkers.]
Owen Reilly: Your turn! This sure is fun.
Charleston Charge: Hrm? Oh. Yeah. Okay.
[Charleston Charge moves one of his pieces.]
Charleston Charge: Fun on the bun.
[So it continues, with Owen Reilly taking at least ten minutes with each move, and Charleston Charge moving his pieces without a second thought. Eventually a crowd gathers, as there’s not much else to watch. The other two events are long over, and only this match remains to decide the third champion.]
Shoshy Raphael: Who’s winning?
Jonathan Hortenz: No one. No one is winning. My god, no one has even made an attack yet.
Shoshy Raphael: You have to admire the suspense.
Mike P: This ceased being suspenseful when night fell. Now it’s just frustrating. Right, Nico?
[Nico does not respond, yet Mike P smiles and chuckles.]
Mike P: You said it!
[Several of the people around Mike P slowly step away.]
Shoshy Raphael: He’s one of the winners?
Red Scare: Yes. If you’re lucky, the dumb one will win this event. No one will miss them.
Shoshy Raphael: Dumb and crazy. The perfect qualities for henchmen.
[The match continues until Owen Reilly jumps one of Charleston Charge’s pieces, and another, and another, so on and so on. Whether by luck or design, the pieces had been set up to allow Owen Reilly to jump all of Charleston Charge’s pieces in one turn. Charleston Charge looks at the board, now devoid of his pieces, then at Owen Reilly, who is smiling.]
Owen Reilly: King me!
Charleston Charge: How did you… what…
Thomas Iavi: It looks like you still have a thing or two to learn, kid. Slow and steady wins the race, and all that. Congratulations, Owen, you’re the winner of the forces of Good.
Owen Reilly: Hooray!

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MMM Event #92: Charleston Charge VS Owen Reilly

Posted by meekrat on July 19, 2010

[Charleston Charge is sitting with Thomas Iavi, looking out over the group of challengers.]
Iavi: I’m proud of you, getting to the last event again.
Charleston Charge: What’s the point, though?
Iavi: I’m sure there’s some reason to do this last event. Just make the most of it. Who’s your challenger?
[Owen Reilly lands before Iavi and Charleston Charge.]
Owen Reilly: Hey, guys. I’m here to do my event with Charleston.
Iavi: Ah. Any idea what you guys are going to do?
Charleston Charge: None whatsoever. You?
Owen Reilly: Nope.
Iavi: You can manifest things with that lamp of yours, right? Remember that one game from “Star Wars”?
[Charleston Charge looks at Iavi blankly.]
Owen Reilly: The hologram one?
Iavi: Yes. Why the look, Charge?
Charleston Charge: I’ve never seen Star Wars.
[Several people in the crowd look towards Charleston Charge, some covering their ears and humming loudly. Jonathan Hortenz nearly faints.]
Iavi: When we get back to Earth, you’re watching it. Anyway, you’re doing this hologram game sort of thing. I have no idea how to play.
Owen Reilly: Maybe we should just do checkers.
Iavi: Yeah, if you want to be boring about it.
Charleston Charge: We just want a winner.
Iavi: Fine. Be boring and play checkers, then.
Charleston Charge: Maybe we will.
Iavi: Good.

Learn more about the challengers:
Charleston Charge
Owen Reilly

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MMM2010: Round Five Commences

Posted by meekrat on July 19, 2010

[A train engine carrying Purga the Demon-Thing smashes into the wall of the Coliseum of the Stupid. Mike P is the first on the scene, having been in the area due to his event. Jerald and Elvin Clovar are next, followed by Ethan Crane who has obtained a bucket of popcorn which he is carrying around despite the fact that he is unable to metabolize it. Mike P cocks an eyebrow.]
Mike P: What the heck?
[Purga the Demon-Thing roars in anger and pain.]
Jerald: I think Purga is in there!
Mike P: Huh. Think he’ll be okay?
Jerald: Unfortunately, yes.
Elvin Clovar: This is crazy! What do you think it is?
[Tom Phillipson, one of the many challengers who have emerged from their stadiums to see what happened, scoffs at Elvin Clovar’s question.]
Tom Phillipson: It’s obviously Meekrat. Their first attack.
Player One: I thought you said that they were out to capture the villains, not destroy them.
Tom Phillipson: They’ve been watching. They know the Stupid is playing for keeps now.
The Wiper: Oh yeah? Well, those bastards won’t take us without a fight!
Bootman: I’ll give ’em the boot, I will!
The Wiper: You said it! Look, there he is now!
[Meerkat, minding his own business, sees several villains running towards him, sighs, and runs the other way. Meanwhile, the three Embodiments emerge from their respective stadiums. Deity Guy is adorned in a general’s hat, Lamp Prime looks normal, and the Stupid looks like the burning train engine.]
The Stupid: What the hell is that?
Lamp Prime: It looks… it looks like part of my train!
The Stupid: So you’re behind this, eh? Have at you!
[The Stupid flicks a flaming tendril at Lamp Prime, who blocks it with solidified light.]
Lamp Prime: I have nothing to do with this.
Deity Guy: Guys, stop, it looks like someone is inside. Once we find out who it is, we’ll find out who’s behind this. Pretty neat, though.
[As Deity Guy finishes, the rest of the train is pulled up by Mister Frink on his gyrocopter and the Animajor. Shoshy Raphael is standing on top of it, leaning on his ivory cane and smiling.]
The Stupid: You’re still alive? Then that means that either Purga never found you, or… oh no.
Shoshy Raphael: He did, indeed, find me, as you’ll find him inside the burning wreckage.
The Stupid: So you won. You’ll find your next event far less survivable.
Shoshy Raphael: A-ha! What you fail to realize is that my next event will take place away from you! You see, we’re rebelling.
Lamp Prime: As evil always goes.
Charleston Charge: Sorry, Lamp Prime, but Raphael isn’t alone.
[Charleston Charge tosses the Manakeet feathers to Lamp Prime.]
Charleston Charge: Here’s your feathers. Frink and I are done making fools of ourselves for your amusement.
Mike P: What is that?
[Mike P hops on his flying disc and rides it to the top of the train, where he finds the small plastic robot who had so recently been the engineer. His eyes shine and he touches it reverently. He nods.]
Mike P: Hey! He says his name is Nico! He guesses he’s neutral, and he wants no part of all this nonsense either! Well, you know what? Neither do I! I’m with the other guys.
Deity Guy: Did anyone else hear the robot speak? Is Mike P going insane?
Lamp Prime: Get your head in the game! He just said he’s jumping ship!
Deity Guy: That’s so not cool! What about the last event?
Shoshy Raphael: We’ll finish the tournament without your interference!
Mister Frink: Indeed! No more deaths, no more attacking each other. We’re defecting!
Graves: I’ll say you’re defective. Still, not getting killed seems like a good plan.
Player One: For once, we agree on something.
Red Scare: Loath as I am to admit it, Raphael is right. If I kill someone, it’ll be because I want to, not because someone tells me I have to.
[The crowd begins to murmur, and slowly they begin walking towards the train.]
The Stupid: Stop! You can’t go with them! We’re at war!
Deity Guy: You need us!
Lamp Prime: My Purple Lamps, talk some sense into them!
Owen Reilly: I think —
Xavier Malcolm: You think it’s a good idea to get while the getting’s good. Come on, kid.
Owen Reilly: Okay!
Dick Douglas: Pardon my french, but you three are a pain in the rear!
The Stupid: You can’t do this! You can’t! We’re at war!
Doctor Aquarius: Consider us all conscientous objectors.
[Soon, all the challengers are following behind Shoshy Raphael, Charleston Charge, and Mike P, who is carrying Nico on his flying disc. They head away from the stadiums. The Embodiments watch them leave.]
The Stupid: Fine. If that’s the way they want to play this, then I think it’s time to unleash you-know-who.
Deity Guy: Weren’t we going to do that anyway?
The Stupid: Well, yes. But now we have a better reason.
Lamp Prime: We’re speaking to each other again now?
The Stupid: Only because we have a common enemies! The mortals!
Deity Guy: I know for a fact that a few of them are immortal.
The Stupid: You know what I mean. Deity Guy, stand by to rev up the machine. Lamp Prime, stand by to summon. I have… something… to attend to, and then we’ll show those ingrates what for!

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MMM Event #89: Resolution

Posted by meekrat on July 16, 2010

[Purga the Demon-Thing slowly glides across the landscape, occasionally swooping to use the momentum to carry himself forward. Eventually, he sees a set of train tracks and lands to investigate. However, as he stands on them, they vanish.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: Curious.
[Purga the Demon-Thing flaps his massive wings to gain altitude, and quickly dives towards the ground, following the tracks and managing to outrun them. As he’s gliding, he runs head-first into the back of the train’s caboose. After rubbing his head, he climbs atop the caboose and uses his claws to climb forward. In the car of the Nantucket Dragon Group…]
Shoshy Raphael: So you see, allies, I’m sure that the Stupid has sent one of his cronies to deal with me.
Charleston Charge: What does that have to do with us?
Shoshy Raphael: Beg pardon, but I do believe we’re allies now.
Charleston Charge: It’s your event, though.
Shoshy Raphael: Our plans, though!
Mister Frink: We’d best help him.
Charleston Charge: Fine. Which crony?
Shoshy Raphael: According to this program, it’s the demon-thing Purga.
Charleston Charge: Demon-thing?
Shoshy Raphael: Yes, yes. He’s half-demon or some such nonsense.
[There is a loud noise further down the train.]
Shoshy Raphael: Also, I do believe he’s here.
[Purga the Demon-Thing, the wind beating at his wings, stands facing the Manakeet.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: So we meet again. This time, I’m not feeling so generous. You won’t survive this.
[The Manakeet flaps its wings and chirps quickly and with great irratation.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: Of course, we both know there’s several people on this train who shouldn’t be here. Might I propose an alliance? I’ll do my business and then leave.
[The Manakeet continues chirping, bobbing its head towards Purga the Demon-Thing.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: As you wish it.
[With blinding speed, Purga the Demon-Thing runs at the Manakeet. Before the creature can react, it finds itself clawed. It turns to Purga the Demon-Thing, chirps sadly, and falls.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: Shame, really. Now then, where’s Raphael?
Motley Shakespeare: You brute! He was only doing his job! Even I, his erstwhile target, realizes that!
[Purga the Demon-Thing turns back to the Manakeet and sees Motley Shakespeare kneeling over the injured creature. Baggy Johnson stands behind him, happily eating a sandwich.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: I’ve not the time to deal with you. Stand in my way, though, and perish.
[Purga the Demon-Thing gets down on all fours and crawls up the train, occasionally crawling over the side to peer inside a window. When climbing back on top of the train, he is hit with an inkwell.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: Fool!
Motley Shakespeare: You’re a dishohorable beast!
Purga the Demon-Thing: Of course!
[Purga the Demon-Thing stands, claws raised, against Motley Shakespeare, who has a length of wood and is holding it in front of him, seething with anger. Further down the train, Baggy Johnson ministers to the Manakeet. Before Purga the Demon-Thing can strike, he is hit with an arrow from behind. He bellows in pain and turns to find the Nantucket Dragon Group, minus Shoshy Raphael, standing against him.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: I won’t hesitate to kill any of you! You realize this —
[Purga the Demon-Thing is cut off by an exploding ice egg hitting him in the mouth. As he struggles to get the ice off of his head, Amazing Rando chucks a brick at him. When he finally gets the ice off, he charges the Nantucket Dragon Group, only to be halted by someone jumping on his back.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: I’ve had enough of these games!
Charleston Charge: Blah blah blah.
[Charleston Charge attempts to trip Purga the Demon-Thing up by wrapping his legs around Purga the Demon-Thing’s, but fails, managing only to slow the creature down. Mister Frink grabs Charleston Charge before he falls, then hurls him at Purga the Demon-Thing. Instinctively rolling into a ball, he hits Purga the Demon-Thing in the back, knocking him down. Purga the Demon-Thing’s eyes begin to glow red, his horns become sharper and more ornate, his claws more deadly, his entire being more demonic and evil.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: I’ve had it with these fools on this train!
[The Animajor uppercuts him, erupting from the train car.]
The Animajor: That was almost a reference! So apparently I have super-strength, at the very least.
Purga the Demon-Thing: Let’s see if you can fly!
[Purga the Demon-Thing grabs the Animajor by the leg and tosses him off the train. He smiles, but then the Animajor flies back and punches him mid-flight.]
The Animajor: I can!
Purga the Demon-Thing: GRAH!
[With ne’er-do-wells to the left of him and do-gooders to the right of him, Purga the Demon-Thing is stuck in the middle with nothing but boundless rage. He continues screaming, and then leaps into the air, his transformation allowing him to fly instead of glide. He easily swats away the Animajor, who hits the ground. The train speeds away, leaving him in a crater. Nothing harms him as he makes his way to the engine, where he tears off the door and forces his way in. The small plastic robot turns, rises on tiny jets, and shoots Purga the Demon-Thing with eye lasers.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: You’ll either crash this train or die!
[The robot simply keeps shooting. Purga the Demon-Thing is about to crush him when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see Shoshy Raphael standing behind him with his ring pointed at Purga the Demon-Thing’s face. Shoshy Raphael smiles.]
Shoshy Raphael: I’d look out, engineer.
[The robot tips his hat and hurries out the way as Shoshy Raphael shoots a stream of fire at Purga the Demon-Thing.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: I am a creature of Hell! You think a little fire can harm me?!
Shoshy Raphael: It isn’t meant to stop you.
Purga the Demon-Thing: What?
[Shoshy Raphael grabs the doorframe.]
Shoshy Raphael: Now, engineer!
[The small robot grabs hold of the lever to stop the train and pulls it, throwing Purga the Demon-Thing against the wall. This does not stop him, but then Shoshy Raphael starts flinging flaming coals at him.]
Shoshy Raphael: That’s your cue, engineer. I am sorry about what we have to do.
[The robot nods, and hurries to the spike holding the engine to the rest of the train. As Shoshy Raphael flings coals at Purga the Demon-Thing, the robot struggles to remove the spike. He succeeds, and the engine leaves the train behind. Shoshy Raphael runs past Purga the Demon-Thing and sets the train to full speed ahead.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: You fool! We’ll both be killed!
Shoshy Raphael: Oh, come now. I doubt an explosion would kill you.
Purga the Demon-Thing: WHy are you doing this?
Shoshy Raphael: One of the only men I’ve ever considered an equal died and, since then, the Embodiments have gone and made a royal cock-up of things. I intend to stop it.
Purga the Demon-Thing: By killing yourself?
Shoshy Raphael: I’m going to assume your beastial nature is causing you to be an idiot. Toodles.
[Shoshy Raphael salutes Purga the Demon-Thing and steps off the back of the train. Purga the Demon-Thing starts laughing, abruptly stopping when the Animajor flies by with Shoshy Raphael in tow. Shoshy Raphael is thumbing his nose at Purga the Demon-Thing.]
Purga the Demon-Thing: Oh shi —
[The engine smashes into the wall of the Coliseum of the Stupid.]

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MMM Event #86: Resolution

Posted by meekrat on July 16, 2010

[Mister Frink and Charleston Charge are aboard the gyrocopter. Mister Frink is pedaling and steering, while Charleston Charge stands and scans the horizon. He points towards a seemingly random point.]
Charleston Charge: There! I think that’s it!
Mister Frink: Marvelous.
[The gyrocopter changes course, heading towards the train. Ten minutes later, it lands on top of the engine and its occupants disembark. Immediately after doing so, the Manakeet emerges from between two cars, screeching. Mister Frink looks at the creature, aghast, while Charleston Charge sighs.]
Charleston Charge: I’m so sick of that thing.
[He rolls up his sleeves and walks towards the Manakeet, its cacophany ringing through the air. With one swift punch to the gut, the Manakeet starts breathing heavily and doubles over. Charleston Charge brings both hands down upon the creature’s head. This act alone is not enough to do much, but it hits its head on the train car and is knocked out. Charleston Charge throws the beast over his shoulder and tosses it into the engine, where a small plastic robot in an engineer’s hat is driving the train. It turns slowly towards Charleston Charge, tips his hat to him, and goes back to driving the train. Charleston Charge stares at the robot for several minutes, then tosses the Manakeet onto the floor. As he turns to leave, he remembers something, then takes off several of the Manakeet’s feathers. He climbs back on top of the train car where Mister Frink is waiting. He holds up the feathers.]
Charleston Charge: I win, I guess.
Mister Frink: Good show. Which car do you think the vagrant is in?
Charleston Charge: It’s a boxcar at the other end of the train. Let’s go.
[As the pair carefully walk towards the boxcar, they are unaware that below them, people can hear their footsteps. Two of these people nod to each other and head towards the gap between cars, and as Charleston Charge leaps across the gap, he is winged with an egg. He barely manages to grab hold of the guardrail, then he looks up to see Guy Magistro and Guerdon Trueblood standing above him.]
Guy Magistro: You’re not welcome here!
Guerdon Trueblood: You’d best let go, lest I make you, like the white man forced my people to let go of our land!
Charleston Charge: Yeah, yeah. You’re making a big mistake. Just let me up and you won’t get hurt.
Guy Magistro: You’re in no position to bargain!
Charleston Charge: You brought this upon yourself.
[At that, Mister Frink leaps from the top of the car and lands behind the two villains. With great strenght, he punches each in the back of their neck. Each fall, grasping their neck.]
Mister Frink: Tally-ho! Come now, Charge!
[Mister Frink hoists Charleston Charge up onto the platform.]
Shoshy Raphael: Oh dear. It’s you two. I swear, you’re almost as bad as Lucky.
Mister Frink: We haven’t come for a confrontation, Raphael! We simply seek our ally!
Shoshy Raphael: Whatever for?
[Charleston Charge looks at Mister Frink, whose face is locked in an angry scowl. Then he looks upon the calm countenance of Shoshy Raphael.]
Charleston Charge: We’re not really looking for him. I mean, we are, but we’re actually here to stop the Embodiments from killing each other and taking everyone with them.
[By this point, Guerdon Trueblood and Guy Magistro have gotten up and are getting ready to attack. Shoshy Raphael waves them away.]
Shoshy Raphael: Why, I do believe our goals are the same. Just yesterday my team and I attacked the Stupid.
Mister Frink: I knew you were daft, but that daft?
Shoshy Raphael: It was either us or him, and while no one died, Baggy Satan did transport us here. Imagine that, sending us to the one location you’d be sure to find us.
Charleston Charge: Yeah. Imagine that.
Shoshy Raphael: Come now. If I wanted you two dead, you’d be dead already. Come inside, Simon makes a surprisingly good cup of tea.
[Mister Frink and Charleston Charge look at each other.]
Charleston Charge: You know this guy better than I do. It’s your call.
Mister Frink: We might as well.
[The pair follow the trio of Nantucket Dragon Group members into the train car, passing the prone form of the Animajor along the way.]
Charleston Charge: You have him here, too?
Shoshy Raphael: Indeed! He almost gave his life to aid us. Sadly, he is now powerless.
Charleston Charge: I don’t see what’s so sad about it.
Shoshy Raphael: It simply is. Poor boy hasn’t stirred since then.
[Mister Frink checks the Animajor’s pulse, and opens his eye and shines a flashlight into it. He nods.]
Mister Frink: He’s faking it.
Shoshy Raphael: Really?
Mister Frink: Yes. I’m guessing he has a love of melodrama. Luckily for him, I happen to have the cure for what ails him right here.
[Mister Frink pulls out a syringe filled with an orangey-purple liquid. Shoshy Raphael steps between him and the Animajor.]
Shoshy Raphael: What is that?
Mister Frink: Element Frink!
Shoshy Raphael: I won’t let you inject the lad with some crazy magic potion.
Mister Frink: It’s not a crazy magic potion. It simply unlocks a person’s latent super-powers.
[One of the Animajor’s eyes open at this.]
Mister Frink: Now then, move aside!
Charleston Charge: I have to agree with Raphael. The Animajor thinks I’m his greatest enemy. I don’t think giving him super-powers would be a good idea.
Mister Frink: Nonsense! Move aside!
[With a wave of his arm, Mister Frink knocks Shoshy Raphael and Charleston Charge away. Before they can retailiate, Mister Frink has plunged the syringe into the Animajor’s arm. The liquid is drained from the syringe, and once it’s empty, Mister Frink puts it back into his pocket and places a bandage on the shot. Within second, the Animajor has “woken up”.]
The Animajor: Many thanks, Mister Frink. Might I inquire as to what powers I’ve been granted?
Mister Frink: I’ve no idea.
The Animajor: …what?
Mister Frink: It unlocks different powers in different people. I suppose I could run some tests on you when we return to Earth, but for now, it’s simply a matter of trial and error.
The Animajor: I guess it’ll have to do. As for you, Charge…
[Charleston Charge sighs and shifts to a fighting stance. The Animajor, however, simply puts his hands together and bows.]
The Animajor: I beg your forgiveness. I was drunk with power and under the influence of an evil being. I know not what path I shall take, but I do know that I no longer wish to be at odds with you and the Land Captain.
[Charleston Charge lowers his fists, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open.]
Charleston Charge: I… you… er. You’re forgiven.
The Animajor: Many thanks!
[The Animajor leaves the car to join the Nantucket Dragon Group in the next car. Mister Frink, Shoshy Raphael, and Charleston Charge watch him leave.]
Charleston Charge: He talks differently now. Is that due to the serum?
Mister Frink: Could be. The effects are chaotic, to be sure.
Shoshy Raphael: Now then, back to business. You two and my team both want to avert this oncoming catastrophe between the Embodiments. Between us, I’m sure we can think of something. I propose a temporary truce and alliance.
Charleston Charge: I’m game.
Mister Frink: I suppose I am also game, for the greater good.
[The three shake hands, and go to make plans with the Animajor and Nantucket Dragon Group.]

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MMM Event #86: Mister Frink VS Charleston Charge

Posted by meekrat on July 12, 2010

[Charleston Charge sits in the stands of the Hippodrome, watching Lamp Prime fret. He puts his head in his hands and sighs deeply.]
Charleston Charge: This isn’t good.
Mister Frink: Indubitably!
[Mister Frink sits down next to him.]
Mister Frink: This whole situation is a bit of a bother.
Charleston Charge: It feels like we’re heading headlong into another Battle for the World that Came.
Mister Frink: The what now?
Charleston Charge: You probably don’t remember, but there was a battle down south. It was when those Paragon People came back. I was tasked with remembering it, and I think I know why. If I didn’t remember, then I wouldn’t see it coming.
Mister Frink: I see.
Charleston Charge: It was terrible. Scores of people died. They came right back, of course, but it was a lot like this. The forces of good and evil meeting up and fighting, with the neutral people doing what they could. I’d tell Lamp Prime about it, but you know how he’s been lately.
Mister Frink: Indeed! Perhaps we should seek out a means of halting this oncoming doom.
Charleston Charge: We’d have to be able to leave the Hippodrome, and Lamp Prime isn’t letting anyone leave.
Mister Frink: What about your opponent two events hence?
[Charleston Charge thinks about this for a moment, then realizes what Mister Frink is talking about.]
Charleston Charge: Baggy Johnson? What about him?
Mister Frink: One would have to think that, as over-protective as Lamp Prime has become, he would want all of his champions within the walls of the Hippodrome.
Charleston Charge: I get it. We ask him to make our event to find Baggy Johnson! Then we can figure out a way to stop all this, maybe.
Mister Frink: Perhaps.
[The pair walk down the stairs and into the Hippodrome’s main area. They approach Lamp Prime.]
Lamp Prime: Oh. Hello, fellows. Are you here for your armor? Your event is next, isn’t it?
Mister Frink: Indeed it is, but it would seem one of your champions is missing!
[Lamp Prime’s bulb flickers.]
Lamp Prime: What? Oh no, oh no, oh no!
Charleston Charge: Maybe for our event we can find him and bring him back? We’ll work together, even, and you can score it by… er…
Mister Frink: Scoring would be simplicity itself. On the way, we’ll collect something. Whoever collects the most of these somethings would be the winner!
Lamp Prime: So it would be like hide-and-seek, but also like a scavenger hunt?
Charleston Charge: Exactly! We’d be safe as safe can be.
Mister Frink: Especially since we’d be taking my gyrocopter.
Lamp Prime: I don’t know about that. Flying isn’t too safe.
Mister Frink: I’ve never had an accident in all my years!
Charleston Charge: We’d stay close to the ground, but not too close. So no one could see us.
Lamp Prime: I guess that sounds all right. Wait a second. Which champion is it?
Charleston Charge: Baggy Johnson.
Lamp Prime: Not Baggy Johnson! Yes, you have to bring the poor man back here! He’s never hurt anyone in all his years. Good luck, you two. I’ll see you when you return. Collect feathers for me!
[Charleston Charge and Mister Frink smile and nod, then quickly exit the Hippodrome. As they board the gyrocopter and take to the air, Charleston Charge looks back.]
Charleston Charge: Uh oh. It looks like some villains are headed towards the Hippodrome. Should we turn back?
Mister Frink: No! Our mission takes us elsewhere, and should we succeed, we shall save them all! Where are we going, by the by?
Charleston Charge: Might as well find Baggy Johnson. He’s on a train with Motley Shakespeare. Shouldn’t be too hard to find.
Mister Frink: Excellent! Then away we fly, my young friend, to save the day!
Charleston Charge: Hopefully!

Learn more about the challengers:
Mister Frink
Charleston Charge

Posted in March Meekrat Madness 2010 | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »