The Meekrat Entertainment Group

Where mayhem is the man-fish!

MMM Event #93: Jonathan Hortenz and Steve the Chach VS Mike P

Posted by meekrat on July 19, 2010

[Mike P is sitting next to Nico, watching him with rapt attention and nodding frequently. Jerald, Baco, and Antwon are standing nearby.]
Jerald: Have either of you heard the robot say anything?
Baco: I haven’t.
Antwon: Nor have I.
Jerald: I’m slightly worried. Especially since he seems to have misplaced the Kzagnox.
Baco: My god. How many familiars does he have?
Jerald: Only two, at present. I just hope the Kzagnox doesn’t happen to anyone.
[Meanwhile, Jonathan Hortenz swoons dramatically due to Charleston Charge’s confession of never seeing “Star Wars”. In his fake swoon, Jonathan Hortenz nearly bumps into Steve the Chach.]
Steve the Chach: Dude, watch it! You almost spilled my brew!
Jonathan Hortenz: I can’t believe he’s never seen Star Wars! It’s one of the most influential science fiction films of all time!
Steve the Chach: [drinking his Jaeger] Star Wars? That’s for nerds. I like the part where the princess is in the gold bikini, though.
Jonathan Hortenz: Ah, yes. “Return of the Jedi”. It was the movie that put me on the path that brought me here.
[Jonathan Hortenz looks around.]
Jonathan Hortenz: I’m not entirely sure I should be happy about that.
Steve the Chach: Pfft, you should be. You got me here, plus there’s tons of tang just waiting for little Steve-o to spit inside ’em. Look at that chick! And that one! Yeah, this is, like, heaven. If they had Halo here, maybe some beer pong, I’d never leave.
Jonathan Hortenz: You’re not making an entirely convincing case.
[Mike P stops listening to Nico and sits straight up, turning around to find Jonathan Hortenz.]
Mike P: Hortenz?
[Mike P’s and Jonathan Hortenz’s eyes meet. Both pairs of eyes narrow.]
Jonathan Hortenz: Michael.
Mike P: Jonathan.
Steve the Chach: Steve.
[Steve the Chach finishes his can of Jaeger and pulls out another.]
Jonathan Hortenz: Here’s a little history lesson, Steven. For some time, I was the head of the Moleside Association of Motion Pictures. I made sure all the movies were… friendly. During my tenure, Moleside children became 85% less likely to become, well, like you.
Steve the Chach: Weak, bra.
Mike P: You kept putting nudity in the movies!
Steve the Chach: Wicked!
Jonathan Hortenz: Only a friendly amount of naked boobies — which you refused to show at your two-bit resort! You wanted to show Japanese giant monster films!
Mike P: I did!
Jonathan Hortenz: Well, now you have no resort. I heard what happened to your little planet. It saddened me, but at least you can’t besmirch cinema anymore!
Mike P: I’m going to have a new resort! You wait and see! And we’ll show whatever movies we like!
Jonathan Hortenz: You’ll show garbage!
[By this point, Jonathan Hortenz and Mike P are face-to-face. Steve the Chach attempts to hold Jonathan Hortenz back while keeping a careful eye on the opened Jaeger can in his hand.]
Steve the Chach: Chill, J-Money.
Jonathan Hortenz: Don’t call me that.
Steve the Chach: You’re totally harshing my mellow with your negativity, man.
Jonathan Hortenz: But he defied me!
Mike P: You were mad with power!
Xig: Stop, you two!
Solana: Wait, this round’s event IS those two.
Xig: Oh? In that case, maybe you two should do something.
Solana: Genius. This is our time to shine and you break that out.
Xig: Better than what you’ve done.
Solana: I have an event for them. Japanese giant monster naming contest.
Steve the Chach: Like that James Bond thing we did? Sweet. [to Solana] Hey, I’m, like, a warrior champion or something, right? So if we win, me and you can do some event of our own. Like having sex.
Solana: Eww. No. Never.
Steve the Chach: It’s cool. I like it when bitches play hard-to-get.
[Steve the Chach pulls another Jaeger from his pocket and chugs it. Solana growls and moves to lunge at Steve the Chach, but Xig places out his arm to hold her back.]
Steve the Chach: Rough, too? Jackpot.
Solana: Grrr!
Xig: Anyway, Japanese giant monster contest.
Mike P: How are we going to do that?
Xig: We’ll erect a miniature city and you two destroy it!
Jonathan Hortenz: What about Steve?
[Steve the Chach is still attempting to flirt with the increasingly aggravated Solana. Unbeknownst to Steve the Chach, Land Captain is now standing right behind him, with his arms crossed and foot angrily tapping.]
Xig: I think that Steve might be down for the count pretty soon. Now then, smash that city!

Learn more about the challengers:
Jonathan Hortenz
Steve the Chach
Mike P


One Response to “MMM Event #93: Jonathan Hortenz and Steve the Chach VS Mike P”

  1. […] also explained in more detail and elaborated upon in last year’s March Meekrat Madness: Mike P VS Jonathan Hortenz and Steve the Chach and its resolution. └ Tags: Jonathan Hortenz, Mike P, […]

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