MMM Event #9: Kareem and the Camel VS Sexy Jiro and his Gimp

Deity Guy: Ha! Look at The Stupid with his fake Howard Cosell. Show that Harry Caray rip-off how it‘s done, gentlemen!
Fake Fred: Hey, there, hockey fans. I’m Coward Hotel, and with me as always is my good pal Barney.
Ghost of Charlemagne: I’m Charlemagne, Howard.
Fake Fred: Sure thing, Charlie.
Ghost of Charlemagne: You know, Howard, something seems a little…different about you.
Fake Fred: Why is that, Cyril?
Ghost of Charlemagne: Well, I…uh…I guess you have a point there.
Fake Fred: Tonight, we have a great event planned! Cream and her man-eating gimp will face-off against Snazzy Euro and his amazing camel.
Ghost of Charlemagne: Are you sure you’re feeling all right, Howard? None of that was at all correct.
Fake Fred: Never better, Chad.
Ghost of Charlemagne: Hmm. Well, to recap what Howard didn’t-quite-say, today’s event will be an intense game of Uno. Since Howard’s a little off at the moment, let’s go and meet the contestants! First up is eight-year-old Kareem and his legal guardian, his camel!
Kareem: Hello, everyone! Say “hi” to our fans, Mr. Camel!
Camel: BRAAAHMRAHMRAHMRAHMRAH!
Kareem: You said it, Mr. Camel! Uno is a game we can’t lose!
Ghost of Charlemagne: And our other contestant is Jiro Ochi, better known to the gay and transsexual population as “Sexy” Jiro, owner of Sexy Jiro’s Pleasure Palace!
Sexy Jiro: Herro, gaijin! I pray Uno bettah than any American! What say you, Gimp? [whacks the leather-clad gimp in the groin with a thick dowel rod]
Gimp: MMMPH!
Ghost of Charlemagne: Yes, well, back to you, Howard.
Fake Fred: You are right, Clancy. This will be a great game of Old Maid. Let’s get started!

Learn more about the characters:
Kareem and the Camel
Sexy Jiro and his Gimp

Meanwhile, in the stands…

Mister Lucky: Hold on a second! Dick, do you see that?
Dick Douglas: See what?
Mister Lucky: That’s not Howard Cosell at all! It’s Fake Fred!
Dick Douglas: You’re crazy, Mister Lucky. I know Howard Cosell when I see him, and that’s Howard Cosell.
Mister Lucky: He’s wearing a leopard-skin, blue neck-tie, and glasses! And he looks just like Fred Flintsone!
Dick Douglas: He also keeps forgetting his name, where he’s at, and everyone else’s names.
Mister Lucky: Exactly!
Dick Douglas: …yes, exactly like Howard Cosell.
Mister Lucky: Argh! I guess I’ll have to take care of this myself! I guess I’ll have to… RESCUE HOWARD COSELL!
Ethan Crane: Would you be quiet? People are trying to watch!
Mister Lucky: [mumbling] You’ll all get yours… after I rescue Cosell.